Perhaps

Got that one question today: how do you know he’s the one?

Well I don’t, to be honest. Does he tick the boxes? Some of them, but not all. Do I get mad at him? Yes, every now and then. Does he drive me crazy? Sometimes. It’s… life, you know. Nothing stays the same for ever and ever. Everything moves. Everything changes.

So what made us, or me rather (because I wouldn’t know his reasons) stay this far?

Because the world is a better place with him around. It does sound cliche, but it is what it is. If someone’s presence makes you feel sad or scared or stressed, then perhaps it’s not just in your mind. Perhaps your gut feeling is true.

Because he doesn’t complete me like 100% complete, but still, perhaps we can make it to 83%. Or 79.83792%. I don’t know. But he’s got some essential things that complete my weaknesses. For example, he has enormous patience to deal with my tantrums. Usually that’s all it takes. Give me some time to scream and cry, and then when I’ve got my mind back, most of the time I’ll submit to him. Or at least I would willingly meet him halfway. I do need those times just to shout my heart out and let him know what I truly feel or think or want, but in the end I’m always open to discussions. And I think that’s better too to let him know what I really feel, otherwise, how would he ever guess?

And because leaving him has never been an option. I don’t know why, but even when we completely disagree with one another, I still love him too much to give up. Even at times when I don’t feel “in love” with him, I still feel like I’m bound to him in some ways. It’s like quarrelling with siblings or family member perhaps. In the end you know that you are still bound to them no matter what, and that you have to deal with it. Find a solution. Try to persuade. Think outside the box. One thing for sure – there’s no running away.

So is he the one? I don’t know. As of now, I don’t mind to have him around for the rest of my life. That being said, no one knows what can happen in the future. I might break up with him one day – who knows? Just because we’re smooth sailing doesn’t mean we won’t run into icebergs.

Just like my mom always say, “He’s not the one until the day you walk down the aisle.” Yeah, just like that. Until the day comes when you make that promise to stick around for the rest of your life (although even then you might not actually know what you’re committing into), how would you know?

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